How to balance relationships?

I am not trying to project a negative attitude in this blog or in all my blogs. But Unfortunately this is the ground reality n Ultimate TRUTH which we all have to agree.

If i write a positive blog hiding TRUTH then it will be good to read but mislead you throughout your LIFE. So this is mainly like a CAUTION Board to avoid predominant n most reccuring negative experiences in Life. You can be a perfectionist but at the sametime dont become a Cynic n waste your time trying to change people but accept them as they are whole heartedly.

Mainly there is a lot of Communication ( lingustic ) problems n Unclear Vision problems n Lack of Mutual Understanding problems in most Relationships.

         “Every human action has an ulterior motive and every human has selfish motive in everything”. But generally Human beings are good n they will not respond negatively until they get only good things from you n they think that you will become a potential Threat ( FEAR ) to them. If you touch anyones EGO ( Vidaathu Karuppu ) who are in any type of relationship with you including stranger, it is the easiest n fastest way to self backstab n go to Hell soon.

     So, It  is good to have touch with handful  of (few) relatives and friends and colleagues who are true to us with love. Jus have” hai!, how are you?, bye!“ relationship with everyone else. We will have to get lots of bad experiences if we go close with many people. In any new relationship, everything will be beautiful in the beginning. When the time goes by, things deteriorate and in most cases, hate will only be the result. Its because, we know nothing about the person in the beginning and we imagine a greenish picture about them. When the time goes by we get to know more details about the person which make us hate them if the details are not matching with our expectations. This is the reason why the priority matched relationships are rare and if we have such relationships we have to protect and nurture it for long term. Also there should be some mutual benefit and time availability for interaction for a relationship to sustain.

      It is also possible to have friendship with people whose priorities are not matched accepting the differences of each other. We have to be very choosy and careful in moving with people. Its good to maintain proper distance with people. Stay away from Wolves n Stray Dogs n all Dangerous Animals N Disasterous Robotic Humans.

                It is very rare to get new friends who may become close friends after college days. But i always keep my options open to meet new people and make friends and I get along well with all with proper distance. You dont need to trust someone to the extent you love them. Love yourself first n Love all others n trust little. If you dont trust anyone you are alone n if you trust everyone fully you will be cheated. So Trusting Right Person shows your Intelligence in life. Everyone should give first chance for the other person in a Relationship n also in Road Traffic. Judging a person in a relationship is like doing Math. If you miscalcute the answer will be wrong.

       You should be kind enough to break the protocol n help in any relationship if the other person is less knowledgeable n needs help. Being kind is important than being right.

           Intruding into others privacy by peeping into their personal life n talking bull shit can be a worst behaviour in a relationship. They themselves should first see whether their 100 % Perfect n Ideal n if so then they should help them solve their problem confidentially n safely if possible orelse stay as Good Hearted Stranger. Constitution of India needs amendments to accomodate for Privacy related Crimes n Harassments ( Like Casting Couch n Honey Trapping ) of this kind in Today's India.

          In an Issue in a relationship, there will be two sides ( Like a Coin ) or view points in which both will be justfiable for themselves but the third person or a view point who can only tell which is right for both. In Most Cases our own Judgement n Understanding of the other person's ( If its opposite sex ) view point is wrong ( 99.99 % ) except if you are an Expert Psychologist.

            Little fight n Suspecion can be used as a Touch Stone to check the truthfulness n Strength of any relationship. Judge most people whether they are friendly or not just like a 5 year old Kid from their words n politeness. Dont complicate your judgement skills as Most things ( 99 % ) are straight forward in this World. 1 is one n 2 is Two. There is no Human being on Earth who looks n talks like a Murderer but truly a Saint. If a person is only 95 % polite n kind to you he is already half enemy n if a person is 100 % polite n kind to you there is a good possibility that he might be backstabbing you n if a person is deadly n rashly talking bull shit on you he is a deadly enemy acting with you to get a Oscar Award very soon. In judging in relationships always follow your Heart not your Intelligent Mind.

      Hurting or Cutting Word  ( Time Heals everything mostly ) or Sentence ( Suggestion ) or Remark of a Trusted person or Stranger is Sharper than a Sword n Poisonous than a Snake bite n Disasterous than a Bomb Blast which will deform the Mind n Body n Face n might result in their own diseases like Tumor n Cancer or Organ failures. In some cases you should not tell the truth or lie thats you should not talk. N you should be silent. Hurting word in a Cell phone may result in bad Physical n Ps_____cal  Di_____es n consequences.

      Forcing someone ( whom one personally doesnt like ) to get eleminated from main Network of  Friends n Relatives n waiting for few years n then doing hidden defamation is a very nasty Business inwhich few experts are good at in each small network. This is one type of Racism to force someone to get eleminated out of Society.

                The moment you do a Good Thing or a Bad Thing to an Unknown person, You enter into a relationship with them as a Friend or Enemy or anyother relationship depending on what you exactly do n you are no longer a Stranger to that person N You will be Rewarded Directly or Indirectly for whatever you Contribute in the Relationship or Relationships with me. This applies to All  Politicians n Businessman n Officers n Producers n Directors n Actors n Industrialists.

              It is natural that most People feel being Insecure, if a person known to them grows Monitarily or Politically faster than them that they will be in the mercy of that person n they want themself to be in the Top Crest. This is a basic survival instict of people in society.

      What Energy ( Positive or Negative ) you give out, Comes back to you. ( Keduvan kedu nirupan. Murpagal seiyin pirpagal vilayum.  Theethum nandrum pirar thara vara).
   
       It doesnt matter how high you fly if you cannt come back n help those who find it difficult to take off. Being Silent looking at someone who is suffering is Inhumane n Sadism n Arrogance n Saten.

      If you say you a Good person then the question arises like How much good you are? Even the nicest people have a limit of being good n sympathetic.

         Most people who are cunning , do mistakes n errors in relationships without mistakes n errors n backstabb n manipulate the innocent which will be hidden forever.
Like food chain, In relationships, Tiger will eat Deer n Cat will eat mouse.

        In any relationship ( including Business owner n Consumer ) the win - win scenario is the one which will nourish the relationship n as both persons get benefited out of it. Persons or relationships in your close contact are indirectly responsible for your growth or failure. Rashly Competing Friends n Relatives are very dangerous.
Selecting people for interaction n words spoken are very important.

         In Tamil there is an ancient expression `idam, porul, eval arinthu sollu''. This means one has to speak minding,

 the place,

 the content of speech and

 the interest shown by your listener.

    While you touch the emotions or ego of a person who tend to go away from you n become a stranger or enemy to you, you should make them compete with you in the the direction of who is good n great n generous n nice human being n should make them feel guilty of their own self in the interaction with you.

     A lie told by many persons, many times becomes a Rumor which most people start to believe as Truth which needs a Defamtion Law suit very soon.

    Most people (99.99 %) forget the learnings in their life n relationships many times as they have a common Amnesia due to their main focus on Work n Life problems.

          If you are Angry with me for some reason, Then Come directly to me ask me. Or Ignore. I like to be a Good hearted n Unknown Stranger to you. Dont do Idiotic n Silly n Nonsense things around me n waste your Time n Energy n Get Lost.

         For a Cynic who constantly makes pŕoblems n fights doesnt need any Enemy in life at all. Because 99.44 percent people will backstabb you in your needs in work or anything if you make a very small hurt or fight. Because those robos or monkeys have a justification for their backstabbing n their software or psychology doesnt allow Forgiving or Feed back or even a small hurting word without revenge. But if you talk soft n kind then most people will react n respond to you positively.

        Everyone has the right n freedom to do anything they want n in the meantime they have the freedom n right to suffer for all their mistakes n wrong doings. So if it is not possible to stop someone from falling down in life, then let them suffer at their free will.

      Whoever you may be in the World, if you play with or touch someone's emotion strongly ( In any relationship including Stranger ) , then you should be ready to get whatever nonsense they could do to you n your life n to pay the price n ready for the consequences n return. After getting something bad, Revenge is Foolish which, Wise n Intelligent people only know.

   
        People ( friends or relatives or colleagues ) whom you are in touch with ( by any means like cellphone or social network or direct meeting ) are called the Society around you n all others in the World are strangers. If anything good or bad is going to come to you, it is only because of this small network. Your Physical n Mental Health n Longivity are decided by your skill of handling these relationships. So dont give the privilage to anybody in any relationship to spoil your peace of mind. Life is simple if you follow Bhagavad Gita n Just do your duty without expecting anything in return n think good n be good n do good always.

Note: Transactional Analysis ( TA ).

       Playing with someones emotions n life secretly with all sorts of resources through strangers n closely connected relatives n friends n colleagues, is what many do to revenge that person.

     Dont blame the society for all your wrong doings for survival n because if you cannt live with pure Conscience as Good person, you always have the right to Die.
You should have learnt decipline from your Parents n Teachers or by your own Experience n if not n if you go in wrong direction n then you will suffer later.

        In India  if you want to live a happy life as a family, then you should aquire knowledge only in the areas of your work n not related to life as such, because if you research about life in India, then you will become conservative n orthodox n a Robot.

         Your Math Skills in your Relationships decides your Longivity. Another way to increase your Longivity is to live in isolation in Forests or Villages.

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பொறுமை கடலினும் பெரிது.

பொறுமையுடையவன் எதைச் சாதிக்க வேண்டுமென நினைக்கிறானோ அதைச் சாதிப்பான்.

You can use your knowledge n wisdom to take decision only when you are patient. When you take decision with emotion with hurry, you will get bad result only.

தர்மம் தலை காக்கும் தக்க சமயத்தில் உயிர் காக்கும்

கூட இருந்தே குழி பறித்தாலும் கொடுத்தது காத்து நிற்கும்

மலை போலே வரும் சோதனை யாவும் பனி போல் நீங்கி விடும்

நம்மை வாழ விடாதவர் வந்து நம் வாசலில் வணங்கிட வைத்து விடும்

செய்த தர்மம் தலை காக்கும் தக்க சமயத்தில் உயிர் காக்கும்

அள்ளிக்கொடுத்து வாழ்பவன் நெஞ்சம் ஆனந்த பூந்தோப்பு

வாழ்வில் நல்லவர் என்றும் கெடுவதில்லை இது நான்குமறை தீர்ப்பு

என்றும் தர்மம் தலை காக்கும் தக்க சமயத்தில் உயிர் காக்கும்.

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      If you are normal n ordinary people will term you as robot. If you are extraordinary n abnormal people will term you Idiot. So always people tell something whatever you are. So dont listen to them.

     There is always an egoistic race of who is shrewd n informative n a great Driver   ( Always thinking n researching n talking about hints from very old to new database - E , I )  of the Situations taking advantage of circumstances n doing manipulations which looks natural.


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Forest has become best place for Habitation of Human beings n Urban has become a place of habitation of Animals of Jungle.

If you are Good at Math of Relationships, you can live a Healthy Life till age 120.

For 11 th-17 th Blogs of the Year 2013 please click on Older Posts below.

How to balance life?

            Probably you need little planning to spend time other than your work time. It is good to spend 8 hours for work, 3 hours for entertainment, 1 hour for fitness , reading and 1 hour for relaxation everyday. You should not think about work beyond 8 hours. You can have special plans for weekends. This is what i call as balanced life. If you follow this thumb rule and live your life , you can see the well being in life physically as well as mentally.

            There is really no point working hard to earn money faster and buy assets for old age. We need money for our living and children will grow on their own if we provide them education. Too much money will make us pamper our kids which will make them less competent and lazy. Earning money in a slow and steady phase can only balance life. If we make less money then spend less and save little. We can save money for our retirement in last 10 years of Career.

            Just running behind main stream ( other City, State, Country) doesn't mean that people running first are very smarter. I had been to foreign Country and other State for education and work but i returned to home town in a short period.

            Life is not one day or test match its at least 60 years game with money, health, happiness. Running in main stream will fetch you fast money may be but at the cost of losing health and happiness with lots of sacrifices and compromises.

          Secret of life lies in ignoring n avoiding the awareness that we are living life n enjoying happiness. The problem n worry starts only when we start comparing good n bad ,  happiness n sadness most of the time. Then we start liking n expecting the happiness very much n hating the sadness which will make you unfit to live practical life leading to fight in interpersonal relationships.

      Most People who are Employees n Workers in India Work towards Evening or Weekends due to their work load n tiredness n Start enjoying sensual n other pleasures in their free time to release pressure n get addicted to them n spoil Physical n Mental Health n reduce their Life expectancy.

      Ages 40, 45, 50 are right ages for Retirement if you had a Rewarding Career where you are paid good salary anywhere from 1 Lakh to 5 Lakhs in Other City otherthan Native n Foreign Country. There is no point in increasing expenditure to the level We Earn. Take life little easier n Do Social Service to develop India or Do Farming or Own n Run a small Company or Business and Concentrate on Bringing up the School or College going Kids n Groom them for Career or Entrepreneurship.

      You need Time in Life than Money to be Peaceful n happy n Blissful. If you change few settings n habits n things you can altogether change the Life itself. Your Physical n Mental well being can be improved a lot. For that, you have to analyse yourself n take decisions to change them.

       Most people just run behind physical n Material ( Money ) pleasures worrying about retirement settlement when they are just 30 or 35 Age. For this they start running fast to other City n Country to make huge Money faster. This is the reason why most people just run run n run in life. This is the very Root n Source of lack of peace n happiness n bliss n being Restless throughout life. But the fact is that they just need little Money to manage their retirement life.

       Avoid talking to people who make you feel bad n talk nonsense n bull shit n inferior. Dont make anything a Habit unless until its a good thing overall.

     Dont do planning with Targets n strict deadlines n put pressure n tension on yourself if things doesnt go according to your plans as you dont have enough resources like Money n Power n Knowledge. But you should deliver your best everyday n just do your duty n you will definitely achieve big at the end. Because joyful journey of life everyday is important than just reaching the Destination.

      Keep Life n Relationships n Work as Simple as Possible without complications which will allow you to be peaceful n happy n blissful throughout the Journey.

       Having or Achieving Self Satisfaction n Gratitude about present State of Life at any point of Time n keeping Mind n Conscience Clear n never worrying about what others think about you as a person ( But should do things which are legally right n not harm others n having Military Dicipline ) is the only way to achive Peace n Happiness n Bliss in Life. ( Having easily achievable expectation levels of your needs or requirements or changing your Targets are the best way to achieve Self Satisfaction faster)

Where life takes you to…

            Vast majority of people have no idea of where their life takes them to. They don’t have any thoughts about that either. If you think about where your life takes you to, then you will have short and long term plans for leading life. But sometimes, these short term and long term plans puts you under unnecessary worries and tension. The bigger perspective of life is also annoying to think about quite often. For these two reasons the guidance of elders for life planning relieves us from unnecessary tension and pressure.

            To be ideal, your life should take you to realize your dreams how big the dream may be. That’s where you feel totally contented with your life. But the dream should be in accordance to your priorities of life and understanding about life and society in general which comes after considerable experience in career.

            Human mind can expand and shrink to the level we dream. So its always good to dream big, so that we achieve big in life. Dream big and grow in life to a level where you will travel in a Cruise Ship, Race Car, and Fighter Jet and even Space Shuttle.

        What you Do n how you react to a situation is very important than what the situation is.

          Life is like a Relay Running Race for vast majority people depending on their parents n the Kids have to get the Relay Stick n Run in life n Career n Business allowing their parents to Rest.

          In todays World Huge amount of Expectations n Lots of Anticipations n Stringent Deadlines n unimaginable short term Targets Torture Most People.

         Most People ( 99% including High Achievers) dont plan n anticipate n worry about Tomorrow n Future. They all take life as it comes n improvise whole hearted n fully Today. Dream big n Aim high. But dont have stringent short term n long term goals or targets which puts you under stress due to anticipation.

        In India, People in Cities n Suburbs should stop running in a Race in Education n Job. Each n Everyone is unique in personality n so they should be going in a unique path in Education n Career n not running like running in a Rat Race which shows their immaturity towards Life n jus living for survival.

Thirukural :

Kural 596, Ookam Udaimai


Ulluva thellam uyarvullal matradhu

Thallinum thallamai neerthu


Thirukural In Tamil :

உள்ளுவ தெல்லாம் உயர்வுள்ளல் மற்றது

தள்ளினும் தள்ளாமை நீர்த்து.


Meaning of the thirukural:

Keep your thoughts always higher and try to achieve them. Even though they couldn't be achieved do not lose hope.

எண்ணங்கள் உயர்வானதக இருக்கட்டும் . அவை நிறைவேறாமல் போனாலும் மனம் சோர்வடைய கூடாது .

Attitude

            Attitude decides how we approach life and what kind of outlook we have about life. We need to have a positive attitude and positive approach towards life to lead a happy life. Attitude might change for a person over a period of time due to too much of positive or negative experiences. Being cautious in life is a good attitude than looking at everything in negative perspective with lots of worries.

            The summation of our past experience decides our present attitude. If the attitude becomes negative due to some negative experience, the new memories of positive experience can only change the attitude from negative to positive for an average human being. But the knowledge about the attitude can get a positive attitude for an expert even with lots of negative experiences.

      Truth n Fact may be anything. But if you believe strongly to achieve something then you can definitely do it with hard work n effort n perseverence.

         It is your perspective to view most things as good without comparing. ( Relativity )
Dont expect everything to be Ideal in Life. That expectation will put you in enormous Stress in Life.

Life

Is life a gift or fight?

There is only a slight difference in taking life as a gift or fight.

If you think life is a fight , then you go into hell and you say,

 

1)      Life is a Game

2)      Life is a Drama

3)      Life is a Race

    There are many different types of people. Like the one who beats n the one who gets beaten. I am not both. But a Third kind.

If you think life is a gift, then you go into the Heaven.

There you don’t need to act, you don’t need to race , you don’t need to play.

You go into the Realm of absolute silence and love and fun and bliss.

It is absolutely the individual’s decision whether to go into Hell or Heaven.

My choice is Heaven.

Whats Yours?

My concept of making money in an Enterprise as an Entrepreneur :

            I believe Money ( Principal investment ) and Knowledge are easiest tools to make any amount of money. Huge investment of money in product or service industry can fetch lots of return on investment in less time.

But my concept of making money in an enterprise is simple. It’s the shrewd way of making money in a slow and steady pace.

• Very minimal investment.
• Lots of domain knowledge of small group of associates.
• Knowledge about how industry works.
• Outsourced projects with good profit margin through currency conversion rates.
• Internet marketing through search engines like google.
• Repeat customers and customer referrals.

So I believe in a concept of making money just with “knowledge”.

      There are lots of people in Tamilnadu n India n The World who work in all types of Industries as Entrepreneurs but the Media n Social Media based n Social Entrepreneurship unique path for the development of State n Country n The World is not explored much which is highly needed for Today's World.

     Sometimes its good to prefer a same locality Risk free n moderatly lucrative Government or Private Job or Small Business or Agriculrure to have a stable n peaceful long Life.

      The Motivation n Aspiration for Money n Knowledge n Power need to be high that you have nothing right now but you dream for something unimaginable Big but working towards it, will guide you reach your Target. Potential difference in a Wire makes Current flow. In Same way potential difference is the one which creates Motivation n Aspiration n propels you to the Target in SubConcious Level. Like Relativity Theory you can make Money to the level you were deprived of Money in the past n  you can be happy to the level you suffered in past Life.

     Plan in an organised way from End to Start n what you should do now to reach the End thats Victory. If everyone reacts positively or negatively then it should result in what we need. In any dealing in relationship or Business the interaction should be Win - Win for both parties.
     
      If an Entrepreneur or Industrialist or Businessman makes 10 Crores by Cheating  then An Entrepreneur whose Conscience is clear  n Target is Great n who is straight forward n Ideal can make 10,000 Crores in the same time. 

    Strictly follow the rules n trust the system n implement the Theory.

     What you Do Matters the Most than who you are n where you are. Your Actions speak louder than anything in this world. If most people think that you are doing something great then nobody can stop your Growth n You will definitely succeed n reach the Stars.